I'm an off and on CD since I was about 12 (I\'m in my 30s now). I\'m very much in the closet but hope to someday at least have a balance between my male & female side. I am always one for chatting with other CD/TS/TG and supporting and encouraging ;) (Sorry guys I'm not interested so please don't PM me unannounced)

Long time closeted CD living in central Maine. Love real woman girl next door looks. Seeking friendship

Hi everyone! I'm just your average(but, then again, are any of us girls "average"??) transgirl....though, really, in my own mind, I've felt this way for a LONG time. But, it would be nice to have the "visuals" to align with my heart and soul. Current "stats": 6'2", 134 lbs, 36-28-34, auburn hair, brown eyes...i.e., just another wispy transsexual gal, eagerly wanting to begin a "new life", and, truly, finally BE what I should have been all along. On here, I mostly like to chat with other TG's, CD's, GGs etc., but I'll chat with anyone who's nice. What do I like to wear, you ask? Well, if it's pink....;-) I lived for my first 50 years, in a small southern Illinois town, 5000 people. For about 40 years, I didn't tell anyone about "me"...thank goodness the Internet arrived in (for me) 1996. It has never been the same with my life since! After almost 8 years of marriage, and around 10 of knowing one another, my wife and I are no longer married. We will always love one another, in some way, of that I have no doubt. I hope she does find love again...I know she certainly deserves such happiness. I have been SO fortunate to have had her in my life for the past 10 years. Love you always, BJ! She passed away, June 24th, 2016. UPDATE!!:(12/7/2007) I am now officially "Out"! :-) Thank you to Miranda, Eve, Marie, Kelly, Lola, and many other girls out there in Beautiful San Francisco--You made my first night out, on my birthday no less, a beautiful time! And, also, that same weekend, I came out to my brother and his wife--they will support me! Omg, what a weekend!! SCC was THE best time!! Please read my journal. :-) I moved to Northern California, September 2010, and along with my continuing transition, this all is the happiest I've been, no doubt! I worked at Walmart for 12 years...last worked there May 2022, and retired there. I'm on full disability now, although I am well, physically, and I can still drive. I now have a girlfriend, she's also a MTF transgender woman...half my age, but she said it doesn't matter--thankful for that, and SO thankful for her love for me! I am a single woman now, but now that I have a girlfriend--not "really". ;-) I am so happy to be a transgender woman! I began transitioning, fully, in March 2009. And, after a few "bumps" along the way, transitioning has been wonderful! SO grateful!! And, it will certainly not be uneventful! ;-) I'm very excited about my life though! I have my legal name and gender change--July 10th, 2023, and the paperwork is filed, my new driver's license and all the rest--done! Happy beyond words!! The friendships I have made here, and elsewhere online, have enriched my life beyond measure...Thank you to all who have befriended me, and made me feel like I truly belong. I really do love you all!! ((HUGS)) Anyway.... thank you URNA! Vicky, Jon, you do a wonderful service on here. Congratulations on 10 years! Please say "Hii!" sometime, girls! Take care everyone. ((HUGS))

Accepting and discovering my female self while coping with gender dysphoria.

Used to have on here that I was a closet CD. It's much more accurate to state that I'm a woman inside and have now accepted that although I am struggling with how to deal with it. Wife does not know and I don't want her to know. Live in Texas. Have to worry about my external life and realistically don't see myself transitioning although I know it would help me mentally. Would love to add a photo, but due to circumstances can only use a neck down picture and that's not allowed here. I feel that wearing woman's clothing is just a normal extension of my inner feelings and having bigger boobs isn't a fetish, it's something that feels natural to me and looks acceptable because of my build. I don't think of myself as having any male parts and wish I was born that way. Don't like the term transgender as it implies that I'm something other than totally female, but understand that it's the used description. of my situation. I joined this site to talk to others that are in a similar situation as it is very lonely to be living my life even with a wonderful spouse. Trying to get over the depression, eating disorders and other manifestations of trying to be female and look and act that way while having to live as a male in my external world. The sexual aspect of this is just an extension of being a woman. Much like other women, I have fantasies; some romantic, some sensual, some sexual and some wild. And now for something completely different; hobbies include model railroading, biking, playing ice hockey and running.

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